Sunday, November 4, 2012

You Have Been Formally Invited

As the holiday season quickly approaches, so too does the party season. Many hours of preparation, consideration, and collaboration go into event planning. For many, hosting an event/party/gathering, is all consuming, taking up every waking (and sometimes sleeping) moment of their lives until the day arrives. The decorations have been hung, the meals prepared, the guests have begun to arrive...but wait! Some of your guests have brought along guests of their own...Uninvited!
This scenario seems to happen a lot more often than it should. Just this week I heard a woman complain that even though she is hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her home, her mother-in-law has taken it upon herself to invite half a dozen additional guests without even asking her daughter-in-law's approval first. There have been many times I have offered to host a party and a guest calls to ask if they can bring other guests. For informal parties, open houses, pot lucks, etc., there is generally an atmosphere of "the more the merrier," but when it comes to "Invite Only" events, it is always best just to assume that the invite list is final.

With the exception of bringing a date, which should always be allowed, it is extremely rude to even ask the host/hostess for permission to bring additional guests. For me personally, upon being asked if a guest can bring additional guests, it puts me into a very uncomfortable position. I do not want more guests than I have already planned for, yet I feel bad saying no. Luckily, my husband never feels bad declining extra guests, so he is always the one who gives the answers to these extremely rude requests.

The fact that you received an invitation means that you have been specifically chosen to attend that event. It is an honor, not an open door! Unless you have been informed that more guests are welcomed, you may bring your date, but leave the rest of your friends at home!

Have you ever had people crash one of your parties? Or, do you always plan open invitation parties? How do you accommodate for unplanned guests who arrive unexpectedly? Have you ever had to turn away additional guests?

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